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I first met Katherine Bray(-Strickland) my freshman year of high school and we soon became very close friends. That friendship carried us through college before becoming something a whole lot more. I married my best friend on June 28th 2008. On February 10th 2010, I lost her to cancer.
The last promise my wife asked of me, was to live my life and be happy.
I have never broken a promise to Kate and I never will.

Having lost my world in 2010, I moved to the Boston area and met another amazing woman also dealing with the loss of her world.
She makes keeping the promise I made to Kate so much easier.
Shayna and I were married in 2015, are both always working on happy, and now live in the Richmond, VA area.






Monday, August 14, 2017

Charlotsville May Change My Opinion on Confederate Monuments. (and aparently have me resurect this blog)


I want to admit that the march in Charlottesville is actually changing my mind on something.  I grew up a student of American History.  I earned two degrees in it focusing primarily on the history of the American south.   Like many kids in the south what first drew me to a love of history was the Civil War.  I grew up a civil war buff, went to a number of reenactments, toured battlefields, and as a kid I slept under a fairly large framed portrait of Robert E. Lee (yes, lady killer I know).  I am and will always be a fan of history. I will always love the south, revere its history, and value the positives in its (flawed) heroes.  But this morning I cannot but want to tear down Charlottesville’s Lee monument myself (with my bare hands if necessary).

The debate of southern civil war monument removal is a hard and deeply personal one for most southerners.  It is one that pits two huge forces at odds in our minds and hearts.  On one side stands our reverence for those who fought for our region against an invading army, an invading vision of the country’s future, and an invading vision of what had been won for the country by their family members in the Revolutionary War.  On the other side the deplorable sin that held the whole rotten damned thing together.  It is a hard debate because as educated and aware southerners we carry deep appreciation for those in our family trees that stood up to an army that literally burned down our region’s cities and intentionally starved its citizenry, but we also carry deeply the sorrow and guilt of the evil that had helped build those cities and helped drive many of our kin to that defiance.      

Whether to continue to memorialize these particular, very human, individuals from a particularly inhumane era is a debate I have had with a number of people on all sides.  I have wrestled with it a lot and had largely decided that history and the teaching of history itself is what is most important.  That at one point these monuments were erected and it is up to us to teach the why’s.  Not only the good stories about those in monument or the good that those who erected the stone wanted to encapsulate but also the flaws in those we are to remember and the evil in those who thought to enshrine them.  That more than anything the statues of our past are kept today in order to spark that conversation.  And that that deep honest contemplation of our past is key and should be preserved no matter.

 Screw all of that. Every single lousy bit of it.  Screw it all.  There are victims of this white supremacist nazi bullshit.  There are congregates of a church that were meant to feel fear.  There are people that got ran over in the streets.  There is a country in shock and a region again in pain. There is also a real human being long buried in the earth who was a victim of this past weekend’s violence.  By no means is Robert E. Lee anywhere near the most important victim in this terrorist attack, he is dead guy, a corps.  But he was an individual.  One that history has thought enough of to commemorate all over the south.  But the man that I studied growing up (the good and the ill) would have be appalled at the events of this past weekend.  I believe from all I have read, that he would want the monument torn down too if this is what it engenders in its "defense".   These …f-ing morons… they spit on, they defile the thing they thought to defend. By reminding us of the racist fervor that lead to the construction of (most of) these monuments more so than of the history the monuments could teach, these modern day racists have speed the removal of statues not slowed it. 

And I have to think, if even the person a monument was supposed to honor, would be ashamed of the thing… tear it down. perhaps tear them all down.  If this is what the defense of our history looks like, we are not worthy of our history. Of course this is a very small minority of those who would defend Lee’s monument, but again, I’m pretty darn certain Lee himself (as flawed as he was) wouldn’t defend it, so I sure wont.

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